Old-timer in search of validation

[domingo de la torre]

Hi all,

    Novice at this and the PC. I'm a seventy-four year old man originally from NY. I've been disabled for almost twenty years, but manage to still get out and about once in a while. I was raised in a musically inclined family as the first grandchild.. Mom had ten brothers and sisters. No professional artists amongst my Aunts and Uncles, but several amongst the cousins. I always loved music. As a pre-teen I was taught some, by Aunts and Uncles, to play the harmonica and accordion by ear, and as a teenager I played some digital keyboards and acoustic guitar..  I mastered none. BUT I've always loved  singing and writing songs throughout my life..  many of the earlier songs I have forgotten, many I have written down (somewhere), and a dozen or so I copyrighted. My voice is gone now, but I still pick the guitar up every so often and enjoy trying to sing.

    I have three, maybe four songs that I think are marketable. I am sure they are of different genres. Which? I don't know except for one which is definitely Country Western and one I believe suitable with Christmas related scene as soundtrack or possibly theatrical song. The titles are 'My Three Little Girls', 'Her Friend, The Friend', 'Desolation', and 'I Recall'. Anyway, I would appreciate any and all criticism, suggestions, and help. I have been polishing these lyrics for several years and have learned one thing..  they can always stand 'more' polishing. AND, as a realist, in today's World, my work may be passe..  lol 

   Being brand new here, I realize I must first qualify before Posting. I'm a bit slow, but I'll get there..    Dan 

[Michan]

Hey Dan!

 

Welcome to Songstuff! You really have a strong musical background there! You learnt many different instruments and it seems that music has accompanied you all your life! That's great! It's so good to have you around!

 

For posting your work for critique you just need to have 3 posts on the site, 2 of them some feedback to other users that have posted their work for critique. Just have a look on the critique boards and provide feedback to a couple of users and you'll be able to post your work! I'm really looking forward having a look!

 

Again welcome to the site! I hope you can enjoy it a lot and get all what you need to keep the music going!

 

See you on the boards!

 

Best,

Michan

[domingo de la torre]

Thank you Michan. I am sure I will enjoy it..   Dan

[john]

Hey there Dan! A warm welcome to the Songstuff family.  I hope it is enjoyable and informative taking part in the boards. I look forward to chatting with you.

[Peggy]

Hi Dan,

 

Welcome to Songstuff! Nice to have you join us. 

Peggy 

[Bridget Murphy]

On 6/17/2019 at 9:12 AM, domingo de la torre said:

Hi all,

    Novice at this and the PC. I'm a seventy-four year old man originally from NY. I've been disabled for almost twenty years, but manage to still get out and about once in a while. I was raised in a musically inclined family as the first grandchild.. Mom had ten brothers and sisters. No professional artists amongst my Aunts and Uncles, but several amongst the cousins. I always loved music. As a pre-teen I was taught some, by Aunts and Uncles, to play the harmonica and accordion by ear, and as a teenager I played some digital keyboards and acoustic guitar..  I mastered none. BUT I've always loved  singing and writing songs throughout my life..  many of the earlier songs I have forgotten, many I have written down (somewhere), and a dozen or so I copyrighted. My voice is gone now, but I still pick the guitar up every so often and enjoy trying to sing.

    I have three, maybe four songs that I think are marketable. I am sure they are of different genres. Which? I don't know except for one which is definitely Country Western and one I believe suitable with Christmas related scene as soundtrack or possibly theatrical song. The titles are 'My Three Little Girls', 'Her Friend, The Friend', 'Desolation', and 'I Recall'. Anyway, I would appreciate any and all criticism, suggestions, and help. I have been polishing these lyrics for several years and have learned one thing..  they can always stand 'more' polishing. AND, as a realist, in today's World, my work may be passe..  lol 

   Being brand new here, I realize I must first qualify before Posting. I'm a bit slow, but I'll get there..    Dan 

If you're open to it, sharing your lyrics here could be a great way to gather feedback and insights from a community of music lovers. Feel free to let me know if you'd like assistance with anything specific regarding your songs or if there's any information you're looking for.

[domingo de la torre]

Good morning and thank you for your interest. I am more than delighted to share the lyrics to a couple of songs.

The first one, 'I Recall', was, in my opinion, inspired by personal memories as a child, family, and Christmas holidays a very long time ago, and the tremendous changes that have occurred over the ages.

The following is partial excerpt from 'I RECALL'.. 

 

I RECALL

 

Christmas Eves, children laughed and still believed,

stockings filled with mostly love, I was small, I recall

 

Long ago, reindeer flew across the sky,

Santa had a twinkling eye, He was tall, I recall

 

We kids always knew Grandma's house was such fun,

Mom and Dad, all the folks, and a hug from each one

 

For the kids, take the time and share with them,

Little minds remember much, I was small, and I recall.

by Domingo de la Torre,  All Copyrights Reserved

 

The history of the second one, 'Desolation', is unusual, if not strange. The song was actually sung to me in a dream close to thirty ago. I do not mean  the song was inspired by a dream, but that it was sung in and during a dream. I awoke in an unexplained disturbed state in the middle of the night, recorded the lyrics I believed I had just heard on an old audio-cassette recorder, and went back to sleep. I had left my guitar out and the recorder on the table from the prior days creative session. At the time I was living in a very small Trailer..  really small. Anyway, the following morning what happened during the night came to me and I went to hear what I had recorded in my half-awakened state. It was frightening. It did not sound anything like my voice. I wrote it down. It had a very disturbing story or message to it that, to this day, I do not know 'Why' it was revealed to me, or 'What' I was supposed to do with it, but I do believe it is something that has a message.. 'Good' or 'Evil'?..  I just don't know, I still have conflicting interpretations.  

Following is partial excerpt from 'Desolation'

 

DESOLATION

 

Today your mine, soon forever,

I eased your pain, for a while

Don't try to feel, take my hand,

Don't look for love, in my Land

 

Put on the Mask in disguise,

Reveal the worst, of my lies

I hold your Heart and your soul

Practice your kiss, 'till it's cold

 

You came to me, with your sorrows,

Clung to my words, desperately

You made a deal, just like all the others,

Now you're safe in the arms, of Misery
by Domingo de la Torre,  All Copyrights Reserved

I had my Dad, when he was still alive, help me translate parts of the end of the song into Spanish. I can no longer sing, as I stated before, but I also had to put up my instruments because hands and fingers no longer want to cooperate..  lol 

 

I, myself, was never able to replicate the original deep voice, nor the aura of it coming from something like a 'ridiculing' and 'gloating' diabolical entity.

 

Well, there are some of the Lyrics. Any and all comments welcome and appreciated. Regards to all..  Dan

Edited January 18 by domingo de la torre
Made a mistake in verse on one line in 'I RECALL'

[domingo de la torre]

A thank you to Bridget Murphy for the advice.. I took it, and a big 'Hello' to 'john' and 'Peggy' for their warm welcomes.

Regards..  Dan

[Bridget Murphy]

On 1/19/2024 at 8:31 AM, domingo de la torre said:

A thank you to Bridget Murphy for the advice.. I took it, and a big 'Hello' to 'john' and 'Peggy' for their warm welcomes.

Regards..  Dan

You're most welcome Dan.