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halld1971

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Everything posted by halld1971

  1. halld1971
    I get so blinding confused, doesn't take much. I'll go seek it out....thank you
  2. halld1971
    I snuck it in with only seconds remaining on the clock lol
  3. halld1971
    James, Thanks for the feedback. Ah yes, you spotted a flaw in my thinking, they do have each other - I need to tighten that up a bit, I was thinking no one to make her feel safe but I was three steps down the line and the pen was trailing behind... I love the play on words, I'll pop that in. I adore Sade's voice, so much depth and emotion - thanks for the link, it was a very powerful song Thank you, as always. David
  4. halld1971
    the old ones are still the best lol
  5. halld1971
    I think there would be something fishy about using the POV from the character that has the most to lose. Its a good point though as I just did the opposite and maybe thats why it was so so. Anyway, I really enjoyed your song.
  6. halld1971
    Ive had a stab at this weeks challenge but run out of time, so mine is AAB and may not actually be that. I'll try and grab some time later to write another verse Give it all by David Hall V1 And here they come again Brown eyes with a sad face Little child with no place to lay her head tonight. Flies all around her lips Baby hugging her hips. With no-one to hold them tonight. V2 Tiny feet without any shoes Empty bowls, nothing to choose Little girl with no place to dry her tears tonight No food for days on end All she needs is a friend to let her eat tonight Chorus I'm ashamed to say We have turned away from their dying plea it's not destiny When did we become immune to it all? Forget to call? Why can't we give it all? Why can't we give it all? Why can't we give at all?
  7. halld1971
    Hey James. I like this as a folk song, kinda reminded me a little of something Dylan would have done. A sad tale of a man blind to the damage he causes when ignorant/unaware of his own actions. As I was listening it reminded me of folks that jet all around the world on vacation and then talk about saving the environment... a weak link but its what it reminded me of. I would say I didn't find the song emotionally wrenching but it was a good starter. As always, Im amazed how you turn this music out so quickly. All the best, David
  8. halld1971
  9. halld1971
  10. halld1971
    sorry guv', I will give some critique tomorrow, Ive just been on and off the site today in between other stuff. I still think the title was just a bit of fun in relation to the task of putting loads of words into the pot. Anyway, maybe John can guide us in his innermost thoughts...
  11. halld1971
    No, I don't think you missed anything Holz. I was confused initially but now I think people just used the title for influence... i think....
  12. halld1971
    I was thinking the title for this (newt and bat) was just a reference to the fact that so many elements (words) had to be put in the pot (song), like a witch/wizard potion, not that we had to use the song title as influence. Did I miss that completely?
  13. halld1971
    The lights, are on red Heart brakes, up ahead You've got, someone new I was, the one for you Your words, jam my brain My love's, been in vain Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Dylan plays, on the radio I pray, his wind will blow You wish, this didn't hurt My tears, soak your skirt Rolex watch, marks our time Stolen love, an act of crime Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? No way, through the night London Bridge, doesn't feel right You're asleep, in his bed I'm dying, inside my head Dylan plays, on the radio I pray, that wind will blow Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Tried to incorporate challenge 39 and 40 together, and came up with 39.5
  14. halld1971
    James, Thanks for the feedback. I will revise the song structure to try and fit AAA. I read the article too but have to admit I thought the chorus was treated separately (dunno why I thought that). I tried to write about love and this is what came out, the question posed by a woman who is beaten by her partner - the initial high and then the feelings about the abuse. It just came out that way. I'll try and tweak it some to get in the right structure and then work on the content. As always, thank you for the feedback
  15. halld1971
    Head over heels When you kiss me like that it really gets me high My head's in the clouds in the dream shaped sky Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? The way you touch me drops me to my knees I'm begging for mercy I'll do anything you please Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Chorus The ship has sailed and gone to sea No safe harbour for you and me You take me places I never knew I see life from a different view I'm head over heels for you I'm head over heels for you The way you hold me and squeeze me tight I can see stars in the morning light Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? When you look at me you'll see no fear because every cloud sheds a silver tear Is this how love feels when you're head over heels?
  16. halld1971
    James, That was great, I loved it. I think you def hit the brief and was very catchy tune, particularly the bluesey notes. I think the "what? were you thinking?" is great, ingenious even!!! This is great and I truly dont know how you produce these songs so quickly. Great job mate!!!
  17. halld1971
    James, That was great, I loved it. I think you def hit the brief and was very catchy tune, particularly the bluesey notes. I think the "what? were you thinking?" is great, ingenious even!!! This is great and I truly dont know how you produce these songs so quickly. Great job mate!!!
  18. halld1971
    sorry guys, I missed the replies on this topic - I thought my email was set to automatically notify me of forum posts but that must have just been the old challenge - duh. I will listen now and try and provide a critique shortly. I have been faffing about with something, will post it later in whatever state it exists...
  19. halld1971
    James, I wanted to say thank you. i did post a reply before but not sure which board I'veposted to (doesnt take much to confuse me). I absolutely love what you have done with the song and improvements to the lyrics. Seems happy and playful to me, something I wasnt really feeling at the time of writing, so I'm glad you were lol. Thank you so much. This is the first time I've heard my lyrics to music, so I'm having a proud father moment... Thanks again, David
  20. halld1971
    Hey James, Thanks for taking the time to read the lyrics. I did find it difficult to write upbeat lyrics about the summer, must be a result of living in NE UK lol. It is very kind of you to try and put the lyrics to music and I would be absolutely delighted to hear it. The latin beat was really just something I imagined that could be suitable for a summer song, other than that, I didn't really think about it further. The boys feel pretty line was a bit of a throwback to Dylan, where he says the railroadman smoked his eyelids and punched his cigarettes, you know, just word playing around opposites. I guess summer can have a big effect on folks and just wanted to show it through those lines. Please feel free to play around with the lyrics to fit any music. I am just really happy there are people like you that are really community focused/friendly. Thanks again. I will look at the lyrics again to see if I can improve things per your advice. All the best, David
  21. halld1971
    I admit I have not - I was too traumatised by the experience to do anything more.
  22. halld1971
    Hi kids, Hope I'm in time. I faffed around on this, something else was in my head but this came out. Not sure I met any of the rules but wanted to put it out there to prove to myself I can meet a deadline (kinda, sorta). I cant play an instrument but in my head, this had a bit of a latin beat thingy going on... Here it is: Summers in the air It must be the summer I'm frying in the street Going down to the beach where the sand burns my feet It must be the summer with strangers at your feet dancing so close you can feel their heat And the boys just stare at the girls nearly bare Summers in the air Chorus Summers in the air tonight I can feel it everywhere from the ocean bars to the midnight stars Summers in the air tonight I can feel it everywhere from the salsa beat to the sand between my feet It must be the summer when the nights are long the boys feel pretty and the girls feel strong It must be summer when the mood turns red and the heat of the night climbs inside your head
  23. halld1971
    working on something but think I am out of time - is the deadline today?
  24. halld1971
    hey, well i was running alil short on time but i loved it and i loved that verse! I'll try and get a better critique later today but need to get the kettle on lol
  25. halld1971
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