McnaughtonPark

I think I had that once, I was concerned about the meaning. I don’t want it to say the high heels also disappear. But, I changed just to see.

Those are exactly the kind of edits I’m looking for! Thanks Randy. If I told you Emily actually represents a lyric posted in the Lyric Critique forum and not a girl, does it hold water?

Last week I shared a shot of the process I sometimes use when creating a lyric, a story board/ scratch idea sheet that can get a little crowded but is very useful for finding words and developing a lyric. This week, it was a different experience. I sang this lyric into existence, on the way to work. Of course when I got to work I couldn’t remember everything I had, but the story was there and the hook so I set to writing. The whole scratch process took an hour or so. Since, I’ve only been editing the meter and replacing some words with others I thought were more singable. (Sorry for the horrible recording, I didn’t think ahead so this is thru the microphone in my hearing aid which is Bluetooth to my phone.) https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/j4Xb1R3Eq2GYfLkWA Emily He wrote Emily Song about a woman who’d never done anything wrong Red candy apple and flowing hot into the wind Boys would say she was lose as a penny machine That wasn’t how he saw her, but he knew she was secret to keep He wrote Emily The line he was chasing disappeared up under her skirt Louis Vuitton on a shoulder he would love to caress Girls would say she was determined to draw the right man He saw her different, she was livin’ keep from drowning again Emily Girl who shows around here but once in a chance Cartier held moments when their eyes had the courage to meet Sat a little taller while her story rolled off of his tongue She would blush a little warmer walking home as her story was sung

I saw that, I’m excited to see it too. I don’t know how you keep so busy but I’m enjoying the site changes, the new music Friday board is fun, and no pressure with the post ‘em if you got ‘em theme.

I have been trying to understand the new badge system for a couple of weeks. Rookie was fun to see, and pretty darn close to how I felt after a long absence.

So I was like 9 or 10, maybe 11 at the time of my first motorcycle ride. A friend of the family, who was recently discharged from the Army, had himself a beautiful new Honda. One sunny summer afternoon he gave some friends and my brother a ride on his motorcycle, but I was the last of us he asked. I was afraid he wasn’t going to ask, and twice as afraid he would. It looked kind of scary, and I had heard the others scream when he accelerated and turned the corner in front of our friends house. Before I knew it I was sitting behind Bob, arms around him and hands holding on tightly. We didn’t ride far, just enough to grab a hold of the thrill that has never left my body. Ever since then, I have wanted and needed to ride. I have never forgotten. Bob died Saturday, his heart gave out. He still rode and owned a Honda Goldwing.

I’ve only ridden a scooter once, many years ago. I do remember being surprised at how it could keep on on the highway. I didn’t really expect too much but it was a nice ride.

My son and I went dirt bike riding last Saturday. Our first ride of the year. It was great to get out again, sore muscles and all.

I think it was meant as poetry, I’m not a very good poet, they always turn out more like lyrics, except when I write lyrics I almost always have a melody going in my head while writing, but when I don’t, I figure it’s a poem instead. I can also tell I didn’t edit it at all, just a rough take really.

Welcome, looking forward to seeing your lyrics

V1 l1. Sitting higher, or standing higher but the 4 syllables instead of 3, same for V2 l1. I guess something like unsure people or there’s some people. That seems to lead in to the rest smoother and finds the rhythm of V3.

I am looking at key words, so far dinosaur and well and finding rhymes. Using a rhyming dictionary I go through and look for “others”. What I mean is, if the work is dinosaur, I bypass the words door and for maybe war, and choose words like Singapore and uproar and Baltimore. Other words which aren’t so quick and easy and boring and cliché and “not again” spoken in complete exasperation. I need some more words of chance to direct the rhyme scheme. By looking at the choices I made for possible paths, I’ll choose the other key words to find rhymes for them. that’s the immediate next step, more steps follow, like choosing the most interesting words, seeing if there are possible metaphors, etc.

Nice work Greg

I can’t believe after a year or more, I’m starting a second lyric, I woke up singing the hook, “when you’re at the poison well, you must choose your poison well” and started working the lyric out.

Hey John, so glad to come across this. The first two verses… were they written before verse 3 or after? The reason I ask is V3 is twice as tight, closer to the bone. ”I’m so tired, picking up and pushing on through” Brilliant! Would love to hear that rhythm in the first two verses. second thought, have you and Alistair ever done a collaboration? I think this song is so close to both his lyrical and performance style vocal and guitar. glad to see your post

I think it’s, for me, desire. I desire to connect, I desire to express, and a whole lot of it is I desire to meet the challenges of doing those things. I seek the work. I seek it if it doesn’t find me first. I desire a connection to the work and to its expression and I seek ways to attain that. Much of this remains unfulfilled.

From my family tree, the number of ancestors would be too many to visit all the cemeteries but the short list are those who fell at the battle of Flodden. (I don’t know why the King is listed, I’m not related.)

Yes. That is how I imagined riding in Scotland, except of course the proper lane caught me off guard. I know I would be finding old cemeteries and searching for ancestors, exploring museums and battlegrounds. Id love to visit, and ride there.

I turned the volume off from the beginning so I don’t know where this is but it was a nice ride. I heard the motor in my head, and after a minute or so was settled into the ride. My thoughts drifted from wondering what a fan would feel like blowing over me to singing “Polythene Pam”. It was a nice ride, warm and dry.

I can relate. I’m fortunate in that I do get to ride still. Have you tried a short ride, just out in the country on a beautiful stretch of road? I think I’d love to ride the roads of Scotland. Of course, what I get to see of the countryside there are probably the most scenic spots in film and on tv. Still, to be there looks like the kind of ride where I could lose myself in minutes. I wonder if the virtual reality headset games have ride scenarios?

Motorcycle riding has always been a sort of adventure creator. I can think of so many rides where something happened that we just wouldn’t have expected or experienced had we not been out riding. It helps me connect to my soul, the inner peace, and I can very often sense the chaos peeling away and being left out on the road behind me.

Ahhh, remember those rides when you told yourself the rain or cold or something else wasn’t that bad, it’s still better than not riding at all? That was our ride tonight. The wind was blowing more than I thought, forcing me to lean into the wind going east and west. South was the best, riding with the wind and north was heading back home facing it. All is well again, but we decided to take a ride again after it really gets warmer to make this one worth it.

Me too, we didn’t end up going, I hate responsibilities. Maybe tonight.

Maybe today is the first ride of the year? Sunny, in the 50’s/f, hardly any wind. Maybe…

Haha, that’s me to a T. Maybe a little past middle aged but fat for sure. I can still do this tho….