Song Writing Challenge/competition #2 Updated

[Dee]

JD

Thanks for your reply. We could carry this discussion on and on but I don't want to overshadow what we're trying to do. However, I want to add that I do agree that the melody is a big part of the writing process and to be fair I did (albeit reluctantly) have a bash at singing the meldoy I had in mind. I knew it wasn't perfect and the chorus, indeed, needs to be higher. As I said that was just a rough idea.

I do have plenty of melodies in mind for when I write and I think my downfall is my reluctance to sing them. Call it shyness or whatever. I'm not one of those people who enjoy the sound of their own voices - my cringe-o-meter reaches it's highest point when I have to listen to myself.

Moving on... what's next?

[JamTimeMusic]

What I will do is sing your own melody to see how it sounds. I may give a lift in places but i'm sure you'll find it nice to hear it. I may look at other alternatives and I will work on Danka's too. I was hoping other musicians would come on here and have a bash at collabing but it hasn't happened yet. As for what's next well once we decide what we like I'll try to do what I did with Burned and put it down for you.

[Danka]

JD, theres is no pressure on you, from me.You don't need to, only if you wish to do it.

[McnaughtonPark]

I know it's hard to do, singing is for private time. As someone who has no musical talent, I also feel the melodies I can come up with on my best day, are rotten in comparison to those I hear from others. In some ways, the ability to sing over the octave does influence the artists ability to write a melody, if you can't sing it, you can't present it, even if you do think of it, which you don't because it's not in your register. It is far better to write to an existing melody, for me.

MP

[JamTimeMusic]

Cheers Danka, If something happens it happens but until then....

MP, I think you are right I guess. Can't really argue that point. You'll like the next challenge though. I should post it soon.

JD

[Dee]

was hoping other musicians would come on here and have a bash at collabing but it hasn't happened yet.

Yes, it's a shame no-one else has submitted any ideas. Maybe it's a barren month for ideas, who knows? Can't always have 'em.

[JamTimeMusic]

Well I think it's time that I share with you what inspired me to create this topic. About 6 months ago Tim & I started work on a song that we very quickly realised was turning into an Olympic themed song. We were almost done recording when I started this so here is the link to Northfield's very own Olympic song also entitled:

Make It Happen

Your heart is pounding

And the crowd are on their feet

Their sound is drowned out

As you're starting to believe

You want to win this

You can see the finish line

The moment's getting closer

And that's all you need

You can make it happen

You can find a way

This is what you've lived for

This can be your day

If you start to believe

You can only achieve

And you can make it happen

Your time is right now

And now is all you have

The future's waiting for you

You've got to reach out

You can make it happen

You can find a way

This is what you've lived for

This can be your day

If you start to believe

You can only achieve

And you can make it happen

You can stand proud

You can sing it out

We will all be there with you

Every step you take it matters

Even if it's hard to face

But you wont give in

You can make it happen

You can find a way

This is what you've lived for

This can be your day

If you start to believe

You can only achieve

And you can make it happen

Edited June 22, 2011 by JamTimeMusic

[JamTimeMusic]

Ok Dee. Very shortly I will be posting some ideas for your song. It has worked very well & I think you will like the melody ideas.

Unfortunately I need a little work from you

(Chorus)

See my colours

Rise higher than others

I will make it happen

Hear my song

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

This is how it's scanning:

See my colours rise

Higher than others

I will make it happen

Hear my song (Needs a word)

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

An option for you:

Hear the crowd erupt

.................

I will make it happen

Then, I feel you also need to write a middle 8 or I could just repeat a verse?

JD

[JamTimeMusic]

Ok Dee,

I think you might like this although you'll need to forgive the dictaphone recording quality and the fact that I am suffering a chest and ear infection.

File 1: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Dee%20Make%20it%20Happen%20full%203.wav

File 2: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Dee%20Make%20it%20Happen%20full%204.wav

Song 1 | Make it Happen | © Denielle West - May 2011

Ambition fuels a furnace

That burns deep in my soul

Belief that I can turn this

Dream into gold

A dream that keeps me focussed

When doubt creeps in my mind

And blunts my sense of purpose

Part of the time

(Rise)

I must believe

I will achieve

(Chorus)

See my colours

Rise higher than others

I will make it happen

(I kept wanting to sing another line here) Your thoughts?

Hear the crowd erupt

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

(Verse 2)

I visualize the glory

The crowds calling my name

I’ll make this my own story

Winning the game

(Having looked at the structure after recording my ideas cutting here will accelerate back into the chorus)

(Rise)

This is my time

My chance to shine

(chorus)

Middle 8 (Can use the 2nd half of verse 2 here. Works well tbh)

To reach my finest moment

I’ll race against the rest

Amongst the tide of talent

I’ll be the best

Chorus

Danka,

I will look at your song next.

[Dee]

Hello JD

I am quite willing to change the chorus to fit that's not a problem. My initial thoughts when I began was to have the chorus focussing on the podium. To stand above 2nd and 3rd, watching your flag being raised and your National Anthem being played, I think must be such an amazingly proud moment.

I will put my thinking cap on and see what I come up with. And I'll see if I can squeeze a middle out as well.

On a disappointing note, our application for olympic tickets has been unsuccessful

oh well, we obviously didn't make it happen this time.

Like your song by the way

Edited June 22, 2011 by Dee

[JamTimeMusic]

Ok Danka,

Here's an idea. I quite like it. Again, very sorry about my dictaphone quality and my voice which is now ready for bed! The second time I sang the chorus I got it wrong so forget that. The first one does a good job I feel.

Link: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Danka%20Olympian%20Dream%202.wav

I have some thoughts about your lyrics. You need to look at rewriting them in a few places to make them stronger.

The lines that I feel need some work are coloured in red. You don't of course have to change them as they are just my opinion.

SONG 2 | Olympian Dream | © Danuta Gal

V1

From other sides of the world

you came here with one dream

to represent your country

athletes of the Olympic team

V2

The Olympic torch is alight

The flame gives warmth to your heart

You look forward to the game

People are waiting for the start

Bridge:

Tackle obstacles, write your own story

Step into victory and live in glory

Chorus:

Believe

You are fast

You are tough

You’re good enough

Believe

You are strong

This is true

The winner is in you

V3

Your dream is to be on top

To give it all is what you’ve got

Everyone believes in you

So today, give your best shot

V4 (Removed again to get back into the chorus quicker).

Bridge:

Tackle obstacles, write you own story

Step into victory and live in glory

Chorus:

Look at either verse 4 or 5 as contenders for the middle 8.

Enjoy

JD

[JamTimeMusic]

Hello JD

I am quite willing to change the chorus to fit that's not a problem. My initial thoughts when I began was to have the chorus focussing on the podium. To stand above 2nd and 3rd, watching your flag being raised and your National Anthem being played, I think must be such an amazingly proud moment.

I will put my thinking cap on and see what I come up with. And I'll see if I can squeeze a middle out as well.

On a disappointing note, our application for olympic tickets has been unsuccessful

oh well, we obviously didn't make it happen this time.

Like your song by the way

You haven't seen my other reply have you

[Dee]

You haven't seen my other reply have you

No, I had to go to a different website as soon as I'd posted. I will read it now

[Dee]

Wow JD, what can I say? To say how poorly you are, you really gave it your all didn't you? It certainly packs a punch and has real impact. It actually made me jump out of my skin in a couple of places!

See my colours

Rise higher than others

I will make it happen

(I kept wanting to sing another line here) Your thoughts?

If that is required I shall try.

I've got a busy few days coming up (Bon Jovi concert , followed by a family wedding) so I will give it some attention after the weekend. In the meantime, make sure you have lots of hot drinks. Tea is the best remedy imo. Rest your voice. Eat chocolate. Put your feet up and you will feel better in no time

[JamTimeMusic]

BON JOVIIIIII! Love them. Lucky you. Take your time. It's going to be a while before I get to work on it as I'm away quite a lot over the next month.

A weird thought but I can also imagine this song as a contemporary pop/rock song with another theme. I'm thinking more and more about doing a solo album and I'd totally want this on it. The theme is great. I can just also imagine a Kings of Leon style with a dodgy love theme lol.

As for that fourth line, give it a go but don't stress over it as I could quite easily leave it out I guess. Actually I'm sure I could fill that forth line with strings.

Have a nice time

James

Edited June 22, 2011 by JamTimeMusic

[Danka]

Hello JD,

the best is to have tea with some brandy in it for the cold. I hope that you will feel better in few days

Thanks for adding a melody to those lyrics. I like them, even though you had sick throat. I changed what you had suggested with the red line and I also put a new verse {v4} in, crossed fingers that this will suit the tune.

Thanks Danka

From other sides of the world

you came here with one dream

to represent your country

athletes of the Olympic team

V2

The Olympic torch is alight

The flame gives warmth to your heart

You are ready and can’t wait

For the games to take part

Bridge:

You’ve a chance to write your own story

Step into victory and live in glory

Chorus:

Believe

You are fast

You are tough

You’re good enough

Believe

You are strong

Go straight through

The winner is in you

V3

Your dream is to be on top

To give it all is what you’ve got

Everyone believes in you

So today, give your best shot

V4

Your Inner Warrior has the strength

Don't fear your contender

You came here after your dream

In the battle you won't surrender

V4

Bridge:

You’ve a chance to write you own story

Step into victory and live in glory

V5 as above

Edited June 27, 2011 by Danka