Lyrics Writing Challenge # 14: Cut Up About It

[Pahchisme Plaid]

I actually printed two copies of your source text.  Once I figured out the news story, I highlighted one copy to be sure I had enough material to work with the story, then the other, with larger 14 print,, I cut up.  Weeded our the words/lines I didn’t think I’d use and put them in a covered plastic storage container.  The rest went into a brownie pan.  I sorted them in a cookie sheet in sections according to how I anticipated using them, then taped them in new phrase order (learned my lesson.  I now have cats, so words were taped on the top, not on the bottom.  Words I figured I wanted handy, I taped to the lip of the cookie sheet.  I had a few written drafts—what a mess!  From those, I did my last draft crossing out the used words that were on the cookie sheet.  I’d move them around to find the best combinations.  I still haven’t cleaned off my cookie sheet or my brownie pan.  I’m trying to watch my figure.😉

[DonnaMarilyn]

Yes, it was really fun to do. I've often used 'word clouds', but - until now - no cutting up. I printed out the source text, then cut strips consisting of each sentence. I then cut the strips into words or phrases that captured my imagination/interest, or left some sentences intact. Then I spread all the bits of paper on a large flat surface, and moved then around into 'sets' until I got something I thought I could work with.

 

But highlighting with a yellow marker may have worked just as well.

[john]

I have done both, but the immediacy of actually cutting up when it comes to arranging the words is where you get an obvious benefit.

 

Other ideas are writing words/phrases on post it’s. (Those bits of paper with a sticky edge), and also copying text to a file so you can move it. Problem with last idea is in keeping phrases together.

[McnaughtonPark]

So first off, what a great piece of writing John.

 

next, I don’t know if I followed all the rules.  I’m out of town working so resources are scarce.  I did a cut up technique that involved toggling back and forth from Johns text to the notes app on the phone. I suppose it ends up about as random as cutting up the words and picking them up in the order I choose.  

 

Thunder Chimes

 

A mocking horde of cold reality is twisting like the Nile stream

truth  remaining silent while her beauty Is another brush of pain

colors rush together bold and ruthless in their dis-infinity 

Tonight I hear the call of thunder chimes

Hear them ringing in the rain

 

Oak and silk she steers a drifting course before the sun begins to break

The shore she left behind was never deep enough to hold her journeys stain

There’s no more everylasting any longer than the time it takes to break

Tonight I hear a thunder chime

ringing ever louder in the rain

 

And they’re ringing, ringing in the rain

Ringing, ringing in the rain

 

Darkness is a veil consuming thought and love and all reality

Sunlight in the dungeon is a gravedigger who cannot bear the weight

A dripping form returns familiar whispers as if chiseled in my ear

Tonight I hear the thunder chimes

Chiming like the thunder I hold dear

 

 

well shoot, I missed the part about a news story.  We did have freezing rain here if that counts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Timbre]

My inspiration was the footbridge collapse in Miami. See link to story here: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/03/17/miami-bridge-collapse-flattened-vehicles-pulled-rubble-dead-inside-victims-idd/435118002/

 

My approach to this was to try to cut myself off from the context in which the words were used in the source text as much as possible, so I only worked with words, not phrases, in order to free my mind to try and put the words back together in a completely different way. So the post-it method works best so I can put the words I want to work with on a flat surface and move the words around and put them next to other words in ways I would not have done on my own and see if something clicks. As I use up a word, I remove it from the board. When I ran low on words, I went back and grabbed a few more to throw into the mix to see what images came to me. Great exercise. ~T

 

Gravity

Copyright © 2018 by Lisa C. Campbell

 

V1

Cocoons of silk

Choirs of sympathy

Bells are tolling the start of eternity
But listen for the whisper that screams

I’m still here

I’m still here

 

Ch

Gravity’s razor cuts through time

Tombstones falling from the sky

Consumed in darkness, lost to light

But hope still shines

Stay hungry for life

 

V2

Dread can take hold

Controlling reality

A dangerous road blocked by judgment and pity

Fear is the noise, hope is the whisper

I’m still here

I’m still here

 

Ch

Gravity’s razor cuts through time

Tombstones falling from the sky

Consumed in darkness, lost to light

But hope still shines

Stay hungry for life

 

Outro

Cocoons of silk

Choirs of sympathy

Bells are tolling the start of eternity
But listen for the whisper that screams

I’m still here

I’m still here

[john]

On 18/03/2018 at 4:08 AM, McnaughtonPark said:

 

So first off, what a great piece of writing John.

 

 

Many thanks MP!