Dhananjay M Venkatesh

hey guys, been a while as usual. I've been suffering from writer's block but, i came up with this! i had a lot of people in my grade tell me how bad things are with them so i thought...might as well make something for them. well, enjoy and any type of critiquing is accepted. also i require help on my metaphors and similes, if you guys know how i can take up my comparing better, please inbox me (please dont send me links which are there on google etc.) thanks *INTRO starts at 0:06* this song is for all those...who...feel like they dont matter... who feel like...theyre getting swallowed up in their own fear in their own misery...their regrets... their mistakes....whatever... but I'm here....to show you guys...youre not the only one...youre not the only one suffering...there are others...and we're in this together...we'll pull through through this craziness...through this depression.. that's the true meaning for me...that's why I'm here...im the bridge...the voice. *VERSE 1 GENESIS 0:55* so to kickstart, i was a kid who was kicked in private parts i was a kid, who people hated and joked at from afar said that i was not meant to be around, said i was an accident to my parents, my family, my friends...and i wasn't supposed to have a heart this all started in second grade when i kept getting thrashed about i was about 8 when these 13 year olds ganged up on me and came they came at me with rocks in their hands and i couldn't even shout my mouth was covered with a sock and the stench was a pain so..i got hit, bullied, thrown about even when a teacher was around shouted for help but the little me couldn't even make a sound i kind of gave up in life but something kept urging me ahead and that wasn't the sweet sound of revenge but yet i was perplexed i learnt bad words when i hit third grade, i even saw kids at second base and that's when i got a crush on someone else and managed to get dumped and left out on the bottom shelf but hell i still kept striving ahead down this new path i was forging cutting open new walkways and went ahead morphing *HOOK 2x* this is what I'm believing in and this is what I'm achieving bitch this what I mean in life and this is my stand where i stay alive *VERSE 2* Pushed ahead not even wanting to breathe anymore but fought fair i fought against the life thrown against me and now I'm in this chair writing down lyrics and changing lives all the time it's not being gifted at birth, you are you, make yourself useful because it's not that you're born with a talent, you can craft it at any time use it. fuse it with your mind and devote all of your spare time whether a dancer, singer, writer, author, it's all fine forget what your parents or teachers force on you, it's what you decide your ideas are what's worth, i'll just help you voice yourself and guide you through the main basics and make you stronger like I'm supposed to do like what I did when the whole world just shouted out abuses I BECAME THE GOLIATH AND STRUCK EVERYONE DOWN a bunch of useless retards coming at me but i still managed to go on a lyrical spree stood tall and made myself a new miracle story I'm striving, thriving and learning all my rhyme schemes and finding out what i need I'm writing my own book with no help, and now its time for you to pick up the pen

i love where this is going man

Wow this goes hard and its really long. I like your writing style and wordplay. You said you've had troubles with hooks? Well what u do is, I write to a beat with a hook. But anyways this is nice, I like your style like I said. Peace

haha i agree with chipper here, good work nihal Peace

let's see. i don't think you'd get in "trouble" for using their beats. as long as it's a non profit thing, then you wouldn't be. peace

Haha thanx for the advice and yes, I like the idea. Well... I like going chopper but... We all like different categories in rapping Peace

"Burn in flames and snap, 'cause you weren't there when i was lonely ain't ashamed, damn, drained their efforts to say sorry Don't need any companions, better to be abandoned" than hear your sad stories maybe better than "being stranded and being held captive by bandits". the one's in the brackets are your verse, and what i added is what i think would go well. also the third verse can go like, "but i aint strong enough to handle or sort it so i put it all into a song" maybe a minor edits here and there but otherwise it's awesome. loved the wordplay. peace

"It may be boring and your probably snoring but Its fun when you explore it and adventures pour down Gotta store this in your core to denture the best parts, although" kinda lost you in those three lines and the third verse didn't really fit with the whole thing. what i saw or observed "my point of view only" was that the first two verses were talking about dreams and a scenario, the third verse, well...you honestly lost me there and the ending as well lol but you have improved compared to the first time i saw you. peace

haha, yeah its about the way you write. that's why i make most of my songs to a beat online and show where the song starts, ends etc. welcome Peace

hey raye , tagging in this under rap and hip hop...well, it seems kind of small for me and usually rap is mostly about your word play and this seems rather simple for something which you would want to make it stand out like you're angry. your second verse was i think a little bit off track but otherwise it's a nice write. feel free to check out my posts if you like Peace

i know it's kinda corny and the last part of the hook, i don't know, when i listen to the beat along with this, i like that echo which would be produced if i ever get to record it

hey guys! this song is dedicated to someone special and she does roam around on the forums sometimes so i hope this will be seen by her. i just really wanted to apologize to you but...i tried calling and i didn't know what to say. well, here we are then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5RReRQptsU#t=59 *intro* hey there again...i...i'm...i honestly don't know what to say.. maybe....no i'm pretty sure that you don't want to recognize me for who i am who i want to grow up as...it's...i'm really sorry, it's just i don't know how to deal with life? my temper's flaring, my parents hating and...the funny thing is..i don't care anymore? but hey right now, i'm just taking out my time for you to write this one song....hopefully it might really touch you this time about how i feel about you, and...if you still hate me, i'll leave so...at least give me this one chance please? *VERSE 1* you know i used to have somebody who wouldn't pay attention to me but then i got through to you and it happened magically in fact i was really happy that somebody accepted me i felt like a bird finally managed to spread it's wings and fly free but then this little birdy had a tragic story, his parents didn't want him see they thought he lost the ability to keep the same melody yet a sad apology can't be seen but another little birdy came and saw him for who he became but sadly she flew away and left him flightless in dismay that's just how i keep thinking about my life ever-y day a nice little bird came my way but then she had to fly away, saying maybe some other day we can try to be together but what if i told you that i was a tangent line cos it would never be possible to meet you again no matter wherever whether i have your cell number or your home address and a G P S if it still doesn't make sense i've seen you with other guys in my head *hook* i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck i know i may not be the one but im not giving up i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck i know i may not be the one and im not giving up *VERSE 2* yeah, im sorry for everything i have said which made you upset when i said enough and goodbye thinking it was gonna be my last breath honestly my life never made sense when you have hate here and there yet you still wonder how to make yourself stable when you face despair but let me say this straight, don't worry i can be there carry both our worlds together so you won't have the pain to face so why don't you sit back, relax, take a deep breath on a chair and i'll call you when it's over so you don't need to grimace but i know i won't get through to you so i'll give you the time you like maybe given a bit of time you would really accept my side but i dunno, i don't really mind waiting all of my life i'm just hoping that's not what it takes to get you back in my life and if you do find someone else, i wish all the best and i won't mind but remember my heart lies with you so right now an emotionless child facing my computer writing down lyrics that may stick to your mind but i just wish what i type would remain worthwhile *BRIDGE* i wish i had time to be by your side maybe i love you too much but you're still my best bud and girl please take this song as my way to say that i really apologize for what i have done but *HOOK* 2x i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck i know i may not be the one but im not giving up i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck i know i may not be the one and im not giving up i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck (staaarrstruuuck) i know i may not be the one but im not giving up i love you so much cos you leave me starstruck (staaarrstruuuck) i know i may not be the one and im not giving up

Well... I agree with justsoulin because no one cares if I just go around calling some personal people names. In this rap or rant, I forgot my target audience and...I was just really angry at the time. Don't worry,I'm making up for this!

like i said on facebook, you need a hook XD peace

yeah man sure! i don't have a mic though, i'm still working on that issue but i might have one by december. and this beat, it isn't mine i just write to beats i like on youtube. thanks for the feedback and the website peace