Song Writing Challenge/competition (Closed)

[JamTimeMusic]

Hey all,

I see many requests on here for help with lyrics so I'm going to set a challenge/competition to get us going.

The purpose of this challenge will be to see if you can write a song geared toward a specific market.

This is the challenge:

Write a lyrics only song that is targeted at the commercial pop scene in US or UK. When you imagine what type of song that would be I want you to think Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson type artists.

The song can be from a male, female or neutral perspective but it must be about a relationship.

The song should conform to the typical standard so:

Verse, Bridge, Chorus, Verse, Bridge, Chorus, Middle 8, Chorus. (I know guys from US refer to the middle 8 as the bridge but don't get me started ;p)

You have until 10th January 2011 to write and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite your song. I say that so many times because any great song writer no matter how good they think their lyrics are always needs a rewrite or 10.

Please reply to this post with any draft lyrics that you would like feedback on.

Once your song is complete please PM me with your lyrics and song title.

Depending on how many entries I've had I will then poll the songs for 1 week for everyone on here to vote for.

The winning lyrics will then be used as our next challenge: Writing the tune/melody.

Points to consider:

If you were listening to the song on the radio would the lyrics keep you interested?

The verses should develop the story and provide new information for the listener.

The chorus should include the title of the song.

Consider use of repetition, rhymes, assonance and alliteration.

I will also participate. I look forward to seeing your work.

James

Edited May 17, 2011 by JamTimeMusic

[john]

Great idea

[JamTimeMusic]

Hey all,

Sorry for the delay.

It's a shame to say but out of 370+ views this thread had, I had only one set of lyrics sent to me. It really has to be asked if this site is a community to develop in?

But anyway,

The winning lyrics are good:

Title: Time Was

(V1)

I imagined every time you were silent

You were hiding behind a curtain wet with lies

That somehow if I asked a million questions

You’d break down, but you never did

(bridge)

Time was

We were happy with our lives

Time was

It was always on our side

(chorus)

But we got burned by desire

Life held us to the fire

And we just kept on making this

What time was

(V2)

Well the world’s the only thing that ever broke down

Forgotten wounds time was going to mend

I’m sorry I never said how sorry I really was

Thinking back I could have been a better friend

(bridge)

Time was

We were all each other had

Time was

Black and white, good and bad

(chorus)

But we got burned by desire

Life held us to the fire

And we just kept on making this

What time was

(Middle eight/V3)

I could have been a better friend than time was

Time takes it’s time to mend a broken heart

I could have listened more, instead I was impatient

And patience is all that time has in the end

(bridge)

Time was

We can make what is, has been

Time was

We can go back there again

(chorus)

I feel a strong desire

To light a brand new fire

And try to be the kind of friend

That time was

..................

Ok guys,

For those of you that are up for it. Time to write your melodies.

Please stick to these words. It's a challenge after all to see what we as writers can do.

Once you have written your melody please submit it any format here on this post so that we can all view, listen etc. Don't worry if you're not a great singer. I and everyone else will see through that. This is a melody contest now.

You have two weeks. Get writing.

Maybe we can write a hit???

Jim

[McnaughtonPark]

With your permission, the rewriting didn't stop. Here is the lyric now.

Time Was

(V1)

I imagine every time you are silent

You're hiding behind a wall, and I pretend

That somehow if I ask a million questions

You'll break down, but you never bend

(bridge)

Time was

We were happy with our lives

Time was

It was always on our side

(chorus)

But we got burned by desire

Life held us to the fire

And we just kept on making this

What time was

(V2)

Well the worlds the only thing that ever broke down

Forgotten wounds time was going to mend

Im sorry I never say how sorry I really am

Looking back, I could have been a better friend

(bridge)

Time was

We were all each other had

Time was

Black and white, good and bad

(chorus)

But we got burned by desire

Life held us to the fire

And we just kept on making this

What time was

(Middle

Time could never love you

Though it's always by you're side

I want to love you

Stand still and love you

'Till the end of time

(V3)

I could have been a better friend than time was

The kind that always has a hand to lend

I could listen more, instead I grow impatient

And patience is all that time has in the end

(bridge)

Time was

We can make what is, a has been

Time was

Never come back here again

(chorus)

I feel a strong desire

To light a brand new fire

I'd do anything to defend

what time was

Edited February 25, 2011 by McnaughtonPark

[JamTimeMusic]

Cool rewrite dude. Shame about the responses here. Is this thread hidden or something?

JD

[JamTimeMusic]

I've started working on a melody for this. Lets hear what you guys have for it. So many possibilities.

JD

[JamTimeMusic]

I was singing along as to your chorus and exploring possibilities when I came across a melody and these slightly revised lyrics fit it really well with what I was singing. For the challenge we should stick to the lyrics but I might send you the melody to see what you think.

But I was lead by desire

Life held me to the fire

And now I'm burnt

I'm burnt

Burnt or burned not sure.

Edit:

I've got a verse, pre and chorus melody now. Amended chorus but the rest is there.

Linky to idea: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13524799/Burnt.wav

There's my melody. Rough but you get the idea.

JD

Edited March 14, 2011 by JamTimeMusic

[McnaughtonPark]

AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we can work the lyrics into that melody. I like the rewrite you did so far.

Tom

[neoism]

Cool rewrite dude. Shame about the responses here. Is this thread hidden or something?

JD

what if people don't want to write cult music/song whatever ?

is it shameful coz you didn't get what you wanted initially?

:\

[JamTimeMusic]

what if people don't want to write cult music/song whatever ?

is it shameful coz you didn't get what you wanted initially?

:\

[FinnArild]

Either way only two people on these boards wanted to develop their songwriting skills. That is the shame of it.

[JamTimeMusic]

I would rather put it like this: only two people on these boards thought this was a way to develop their specific songwriting skills. No shame about that.

[FinnArild]

We disagree then but that's all good. I can't make anyone post but I can still say that I'm disappointed. It's all good.

[McnaughtonPark]

I was a little shocked with the lack of responses myself. Here was the opportunity for lyric only members to hear their words put to music and none participated.

[FinnArild]

Maybe most members aren't interested in the commercial pop scene a'la Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson - I know I'm not interested in writing lyrics for hormone overdosed teenagers ... Anyway, pun aside, there are a lot of possible explanations to why people didn't respond to this challenge and the explanation: "there's something wrong with everyone else" is one of the less likely ones.

[McnaughtonPark]

Have to agree with that too. But........if all I'm doing is writing lyrics, I better be willing to challenge myself. Pop, rock, whatever......

[McnaughtonPark]

OK, I didn't really have time to write a proper response yesterday because I was on my phone, not a computer, and I hate tapping little squares with my thumbs. As far as the challenge goes. Great idea. It helped inspire me to write. There was a reason, a guideline, I knew the expectation. There was an audience, clearly defined, to write in the direction of. I knew who's ear was hopefully going to relate to the lyric of the song. And, when writing, I was challenged by the fact that others were going to be submitting their work to be judged against mine, which always makes me try, maybe not succeed, but try anyway to up the level of the phrasing, the creativity of the ideas and chosen words. So yes, the challenge format worked for me. And this is where some discussion may prove more beneficial for future endeavors.

Perhaps not everyone feels their work benefits from that. Perhaps there is a better way to present it. Maybe it isn't a challenge. Maybe it's a play-day. Maybe others would rather have a musician just read through all their lyrics and pick something that sticks out to them. I don't know, maybe nobody saw the thread. I did. The point is, I'm sure Jam Time thought he was reaching out in his way to work with someone to achieve a goal. Nothing at all wrong with that, and that point isn't in contention. Jam's response to the lack of interest is at issue.

It sounded to me like he was frustrated because he expected more than he got. Understandable really given the effort he put into setting up the challenge. Go back and read the initial post, it's defined really well, he did put thought into his idea but with that much initial effort, I'm afraid he may have included some unspoken expectations. One of which was that there were going to be at least a few responses, certainly more than one. But one was all he got, and that surprised him, and me.

It takes time to do this. It takes effort. There is the hope, and that is all there is really, just the hope that maybe this is the way to further your craft, maybe this will work...so we write. Well, I should say, so I write. But it's not just the writing. I listen, I read, I sing, I get seen singing while walking and driving and I think they must think I'm crazy. And crazy may not be a bad word for it. But none the less, I can't blame someone else when my expectations are not met. Even when I have given so much.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that the Song Stuff board isn't the place to find people who are willing to create music. Just the place where those who are seeking that come from many different places, and have many different expectations, and styles. Hey, I listened and tried. More than that, I understand what it means to have a dream. I know frustration and have had my share of challenges, but I grow with them.

I guess when I saw the word challenge, it caught my eye, it raised my pulse, just the idea of getting down and getting it on sharpened my pencil. I don't gamble, I don't expect something for nothing. I am willing to participate in my search for getting what I've come to know as "my little hobby" to grow. This particular post interested me. I do not understand, because I just can't, it isn't me, but I don't understand those who avoid challenge. I'm not saying anything against anyone who didn't respond, merely stating that a challenge to me is something that absolutely must be attempted when there is a goal in common with my own best interest. In this case, to hear my silent lyrics sung.

On this board, in this setting, in the changing world of music, there is no reason not to try. every bit of help a lyricist could possibly want is here for the taking, not just the asking. It's not the critiques nor the posting of endless reams of words, but the opportunity to achieve your goals can be found here, and here is where I am and plan to stay. Hopefully soon, my words will be put to a Katy Perry or Kelly CLarkson style of song.

All the best intentions,

Tom

[Lazz]

Like John, I thought this was a great idea.

Like JD, I also felt disappointed by the lack of response.

Sorry that I don’t personally participate in these exercises – I already have co-writers, and (perhaps ill-advisedly) we don’t write much in the vein of commercial pop unless specifically requested, but I fear I have never heard of Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson.

And this bit made me smile, James:

(I know guys from US refer to the middle 8 as the bridge but don't get me started ;p)

… because I am not from the US at all and yet to me and everybody else I know professionally the “Middle 8” remains nothing else other than the 8-bar bridge to the standard old 32 bar form. That’s exactly what it was for John Lennon, too.

Weird how we differ on terms, eh?

But that did kinda put me off at first – until I heard the delivery of your rendering work on the melody – which I found completely convincing.

It is a real pleasure watching this thread slowly develop into such a promising collaboration

[JamTimeMusic]

Tom & Lazz. Thanks for the support. You said everything I feel about this post.

Tunesmith. I totally understand and yeah your probably right. Zero posts etc. Nevertheless I wasn't asking for a collaboration with me, I was asking the community to collaborate, to write their lyrics, give feedback to each and then the winner's lyrics get the next challenge. Perhaps I should have waited until I had been here 6 months and posted several hundred posts but hey I just wanted to get people going. Perhaps it's just the community? Maybe everyone is too busy. Who knows.

Thanks to Tom for giving it a go. If you want to develop the idea with me some more I'll be happy to.

I will stick around the boards and try again later in the year.

JD

[JamTimeMusic]

but anyway let's move on and focus on the positives from this post.

Does anyone have any views on the current lyrics and melody?

How can it be improved? Does the lyric tell a story? is there a melodical hook that keeps you wanting to listen? etc.