Bernd

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Bernd last won the day on February 6 2014

Bernd had the most liked content!

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About Bernd

  • Rank
    Experienced Member
  • Birthday 02/10/1953

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://bernd-harmsen.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Germany

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    RockBernd and FolkBernd
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    good lyricist, medicocre songwriter, lousy musician

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Detailed

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  1. Hello nameless, here is my text for you. It might be difficult to come up with a tune (vocal line) and sing it as you cannot know the tune I had in mind when writing the words (and even that would be not THAT easy to sing). Your track has two different sections. You will note that my lyrical sections also differ notably. I added time marks where I think the sections in question are beginning. The first has six stanzas the second four. The text will be published under my creative commons license so others may use it (or just one part or 'section') as well. It's free for NON-COMMERCIAL use (free posts on the internet, streaming ...). If you use it and have plans beyond that, please contact me before proceeding. 0:29 let's go for a swim in the sparkling blue sea let's be like children today we are free when we look back we cannot see the beach we feel quite happy to stay out of reach let our minds sail while we head for the sun till we reach spaces where time has begun gently we drift where the sky meets the sea float in the presence and float endlessly there is just us and the endless blue sea here we are timeless here we are free gently we drift where the sky meets the sea float in the presence and float end-less-ly 1:26 they party oh yeah, they party people are dancing they dance on the beach cool drinks oh yeah they've cool drinks they have a great time great time on the beach kissing oh yeah, they're kissing lovers are snogging snogging on the beach living life can be a party buoyant and joyful like fun on the beach Bernd
  2. http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13562163&q=hi I smell trouble trouble down the road like some dud shell that's going to explode I see it in your eyes that your mind's wandering I can read in your heart that your love is fading I feel it in your touch that you are backing out it's not hard to guess what's gonna come about I smell trouble trouble down the road like some dud shell that's going to explode
  3. Nice tune. By "lyrics" do you mean just lyrics or "lyrics and singer" - that would be topline writing. I could do "just lyrics" if you like :-)
  4. I sent you a PM.
  5. Beautiful. I could assist with lyrics and maybe guiding vocals (I'm NOT a singer). But then, you primarily need a REAL singer. I note that your tracks contain melodic parts that actually seem to anticipate the vocal line, or leave little room to deviate from them. Just mentioning. They're cool... Good luck! Bernd
  6. You create wonderful music! Should you find musicians (singers) to work with you and just lack some wonderful lyrics - which is rather unlikely but MIGHT happen - drop me a note or check out my pages: http://bernd-harmsen.com 488 lyrics to choose from, and I usually write to music - yet prefer having a vocal line (a tune) to topline-writing because I'm not the/a singer. Good luck, Bernd
  7. Thanks for trying! It works here, albeit CD Baby seems a bit slow today. The full version of "the angels' choir" is in the song feedback section. Other full versions are on my player. And the 'album' is on Amazon etc. as well. My player: http://www.soundclick.com/members/default.cfm?member=berndharmsen&content=station&id=1116657 Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06VYG3V76 Cheers, Bernd
  8. Hi Jim, there actually IS a rhyme pattern in the verses - it's XAAX (the first verse might be taken as ABBA). Near rhymes, yet rhymes. Yet, adhering to my own 'rules' when I write for others, this pattern does not resonate with the tune. XAXA or ABAB would have been better. I wrote the lyrics a while ago and only later decided to set them to music myself. I actually feel more comfortable when I create songs 'music first'. A faster tempo would do the song good. I wanted it to be slow and solemn, but it got a bit too slow, I'm afraid. Thank you for your feedback. I'd say it's spot-on. Cheers, Bernd
  9. Hi Leo, you mean the chords to "the angels' choir"? Verse: C Am G Em D F C G Lift: D F D Chorus: Em G C F C G Actually, I normally just write LYRICS for other musicians because I've long since given up any hope that somebody might be interested in my songs. I mostly write rock - and rock bands do their own stuff. It's a pity because I believe I've written quite a few cool songs. I just lack the musical skills to perform then properly. And, what's even worse, I don't have the voice to sing them (too old, too bass). Nive hearing from you. Bernd
  10. Hey Bernd,

     

    I quickly recorded a 1+1 demo to 'A Place To Live'.

    What do you think?

    https://soundcloud.com/leosherman/a-place-to-live/s-6cXTc

     

    a place to live lyrics.png

    1. Leo

      Leo

      I forgot to add - Lyrics by Bernd Harmsen.

  11. IMHO just scrapping the second stanza would improve the song. I like the line "So I won't know myself from who I was yesterday", so well phrased! The ending "... for all the people to see" on the other hand does not seem to make much sense to me. Cheers, Bernd
  12. The 'pre-chorus' is not a pre-chorus but just another verse - or the continuation of the verse before it. Well, the second - ... "for a day of fame" - has a bit more of a lift (another term for 'pre-chorus' that better describes its funtion). The chorus seems to repeat the same tune yet again, or at least has got way too similar to stand out. Maybe just try using different chords... The lyrics are fine. Except, you don't mean "sole", do you? How about "soul"? But the difference isn't audible anyway ;-) Cheers, Bernd
  13. Something different from "Rock Bernd": http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13540169 The song's lyrics: while the bathtub slowly is filling up she downs her pills with a glass of red wine she tests the water to make sure it's fine somewhere she'd read it must not be too hot resting her head on a bath pillow she'd brought she's all set for her bath - peaceful and quiet she reaches out for the razor blade knife as soon as she feels the numbness set in she's overcoming all pretence and disguise she's overcoming his deceptions and lies she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir she is fascinated by billowing clouds that soon begin col'ring the water bright red while contemplating what might lie ahead she's getting tired and dizzy at last she's overcoming all pretence and disguise she's overcoming his deceptions and lies and she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir
  14. ... and also for the odd folk or country song. Actually this depends on the musicians' interpretations. Craig made my rock songs country, KOMIR make everything pop... Whatever, these days I published my 3rd 'big' lyrics collection, "more than meets the ear" with 86 new lyrics: https://archive.org/download/MoreThanMeetsTheEar/more than meets the ear.pdf the former compilations were "still there'll be more" (60 texts): https://archive.org/download/StillTherellBeMore/still there'll be more.pdf and "the Lot" (340 lyrics): https://archive.org/download/TheLot/TheLot.pdf Your choice! All are free for non-commercial use like free internet presentations, for example. Songs that are being performed or produced 'for real' must be registered and licensing handled by the appropriate collecting society (BMI, ASCAP, PRS... my is the German GEMA). Bernd Harmsen
  15. WOW! Thanks a lot for your detailed feedback. I copied the text to the song's folder so I can work on it step by step. Thanks again, Bernd