Bernd

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Bernd last won the day on February 6 2014

Bernd had the most liked content!

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About Bernd

  • Rank
    Experienced Member
  • Birthday 02/10/1953

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://bernd-harmsen.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Germany

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    RockBernd and FolkBernd
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    good lyricist, medicocre songwriter, lousy musician

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Detailed

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  1. Beautiful. I could assist with lyrics and maybe guiding vocals (I'm NOT a singer). But then, you primarily need a REAL singer. I note that your tracks contain melodic parts that actualy seem to anticipate the vocal line, or leave little room to deviate from them. Just mentioning. They're cool... Good luck! Bernd
  2. You create wonderful music! Should you find musicians (singers) to work with you and just lack some wonderful lyrics - which is rather unlikely but MIGHT happen - drop me a note or check out my pages: http://bernd-harmsen.com 488 lyrics to choose from, and I usually write to music - yet prefer having a vocal line (a tune) to topline-writing because I'm not the/a singer. Good luck, Bernd
  3. Thanks for trying! It works here, albeit CD Baby seems a bit slow today. The full version of "the angels' choir" is in the song feedback section. Other full versions are on my player. And the 'album' is on Amazon etc. as well. My player: http://www.soundclick.com/members/default.cfm?member=berndharmsen&content=station&id=1116657 Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06VYG3V76 Cheers, Bernd
  4. Hi Jim, there actually IS a rhyme pattern in the verses - it's XAAX (the first verse might be taken as ABBA). Near rhymes, yet rhymes. Yet, adhering to my own 'rules' when I write for others, this pattern does not resonate with the tune. XAXA or ABAB would have been better. I wrote the lyrics a while ago and only later decided to set them to music myself. I actually feel more comfortable when I create songs 'music first'. A faster tempo would do the song good. I wanted it to be slow and solemn, but it got a bit too slow, I'm afraid. Thank you for your feedback. I'd say it's spot-on. Cheers, Bernd
  5. Hi Leo, you mean the chords to "the angels' choir"? Verse: C Am G Em D F C G Lift: D F D Chorus: Em G C F C G Actually, I normally just write LYRICS for other musicians because I've long since given up any hope that somebody might be interested in my songs. I mostly write rock - and rock bands do their own stuff. It's a pity because I believe I've written quite a few cool songs. I just lack the musical skills to perform then properly. And, what's even worse, I don't have the voice to sing them (too old, too bass). Nive hearing from you. Bernd
  6. Hey Bernd,

     

    I quickly recorded a 1+1 demo to 'A Place To Live'.

    What do you think?

    https://soundcloud.com/leosherman/a-place-to-live/s-6cXTc

     

    a place to live lyrics.png

    1. Leo

      Leo

      I forgot to add - Lyrics by Bernd Harmsen.

  7. IMHO just scrapping the second stanza would improve the song. I like the line "So I won't know myself from who I was yesterday", so well phrased! The ending "... for all the people to see" on the other hand does not seem to make much sense to me. Cheers, Bernd
  8. The 'pre-chorus' is not a pre-chorus but just another verse - or the continuation of the verse before it. Well, the second - ... "for a day of fame" - has a bit more of a lift (another term for 'pre-chorus' that better describes its funtion). The chorus seems to repeat the same tune yet again, or at least has got way too similar to stand out. Maybe just try using different chords... The lyrics are fine. Except, you don't mean "sole", do you? How about "soul"? But the difference isn't audible anyway ;-) Cheers, Bernd
  9. A pity it's so difficult to read... I like the chorus a lot: what's the point of living if we're all just gonna die what's the point of living if there ain't no reason why now tell me why what's the point of living if there ain't no feelings I can feel any longer 'cause I'm so numb inside I'm numb This is brilliant! I don't care much for the speech song in the verses, though - but that's a matter of taste. And I was too lazy to follow the hard to read lyrics or listen repeatedly so I would get the text. The song is rather samey which actually fits its subject. I could imagine slight changes in the 'arrangement' of the verses (other or added instruments, for example). But maybe it's just a bit too long... Cheers, Bernd
  10. Something different from "Rock Bernd": http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13540169 The song's lyrics: while the bathtub slowly is filling up she downs her pills with a glass of red wine she tests the water to make sure it's fine somewhere she'd read it must not be too hot resting her head on a bath pillow she'd brought she's all set for her bath - peaceful and quiet she reaches out for the razor blade knife as soon as she feels the numbness set in she's overcoming all pretence and disguise she's overcoming his deceptions and lies she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir she is fascinated by billowing clouds that soon begin col'ring the water bright red while contemplating what might lie ahead she's getting tired and dizzy at last she's overcoming all pretence and disguise she's overcoming his deceptions and lies and she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir she's hearing music wonderful, beautiful music now, that she's joining the angels' choir
  11. ... and also for the odd folk or country song. Actually this depends on the musicians' interpretations. Craig made my rock songs country, KOMIR make everything pop... Whatever, these days I published my 3rd 'big' lyrics collection, "more than meets the ear" with 86 new lyrics: https://archive.org/download/MoreThanMeetsTheEar/more than meets the ear.pdf the former compilations were "still there'll be more" (60 texts): https://archive.org/download/StillTherellBeMore/still there'll be more.pdf and "the Lot" (340 lyrics): https://archive.org/download/TheLot/TheLot.pdf Your choice! All are free for non-commercial use like free internet presentations, for example. Songs that are being performed or produced 'for real' must be registered and licensing handled by the appropriate collecting society (BMI, ASCAP, PRS... my is the German GEMA). Bernd Harmsen
  12. WOW! Thanks a lot for your detailed feedback. I copied the text to the song's folder so I can work on it step by step. Thanks again, Bernd
  13. Thanks a lot! You hit the mark three times ;-) 1. Don’t sing on top of your guitar riff, ... Yep, the verses, I know. When I sing on top of my own backing track I often find it hard to free myself from the riff. 2. ... it’s just (feels like) copy and paste, except for the solo... It is - the backing track, that is. Even the solo part where I play on top of a backing track is the same as in the sung bridge (yes, two bridges, I sometimes like such structures) 3. Your voice is a little weak, ... It's as good here as it ever will get. This is one of my better vocal performances because the pitch is optimal (it often is not, and I sometimes sound like some kind of mouse that's being tortured. I'll (try to) keep your advice in mind for the next songs. Thanks again, Bernd
  14. Head lines that mark the different structural parts of the song might be helpful. It looks to me like you start with the chorus.That approach often works just fine. Next a verse. Then a lift (my guess because it's repeated and uses a different rhyme pattern). Next the chorus, another verse, lift and chorus/outro. That looks like a solid song structure for pop music. i did ev'rything for you didn't i buy you things take you places you wanted to give you a diamond ring the grammatical structure "I did ...buy/take/give" might not get across easily in a song; I would find it easier to follow if the last two lines were imperfect (took/gave). Bernd
  15. Garage (or rather home-office) Rock. I like whatever I do, but that's no reason not to learn a thing or two ;-) http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13535650 After discussions on another board I already altered the mix (lowered the guitar tracks so vocals and drums - and bass - would be more present). Two say, the song is too 'staccato' all through. Hm. I had already tried to smoothen that out in the bridge by means of the ride cymbal so as to get more variety. For people who only are interested in lyrics: trade real life for chat and tweets google to find doubtful truth fake news, goo that sounds so sweet all designed to spoil your youth all for free here value undefined all for nothing keep that in your mind swap real friends for online nicks friendships that ain't worth a dime panting after online chicks all you're doin' is waste your time all for free here value undefined all for nothing keep that in your mind you don't know how fresh grass smells what the songs of pied birds tell [in the 'official' lyrics I'll change that to "blackbirds"] you don't know how kisses feel you can't tell fake from real all for free here value undefined all for nothing keep that in your mind animated, coloured ads wrap around your clouded mind chasing after short-lived fads you tread on a ground that's mined all for free here value undefined all for nothing keep that in your mind