Challenge #14 It's All About The Hook (Almost)

[Kel]

Arrrrgh shimates, did you hear that? Somewhere in the fog of confused delusion I thought I heard a wee bit of reason. Could be me ol' ears though. Smee, rig up the Shedevilry, I think I needs me ears unwaxed!

[john]

No no no, not wax. You heard a wee bit o' raisin. Pesky dried fruit gets everywhere y'know.

[Kel]

Geesh!

[Rudi]

Ahoy there!

I got me a mild case of that there dys-lex-ier I 'ave.

 

I bin ambling about all the long day wiv a carrot on me shoulder.

 

Ever wonder why it is that pirates is called pirates?

Its because they AArrrhh!

[Lisa Gates]

Ahoy there!

I got me a mild case of that there dys-lex-ier I 'ave.

 

I bin ambling about all the long day wiv a carrot on me shoulder.

 

Ever wonder why it is that pirates is called pirates?

Its because they AArrrhh!

Thanks for clearing that up for us land lubbers

[Lisa Gates]

GOLDY!!! YOU HAVE NO LOCKS!!! Love to see you finally! cute pic!

[Rudi]

No Second Chances by Kel, Rudi, and Lguzda

 

 [VERSE]

Monday morning squandered on

Regrets 'bout what I didn't do

The weekend went by in a flash

My good intentions dashed by…

 

  [CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

 

 [VERSE]

Friday night lasted till dawn

Saturday was 4 hours late

Midday sun crosses over my bed

Jackhammers in my head sing...

 

　[CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

　

　

 

 [bRIDGE]

Every weekend it's déjà vu

Each and every thought is about you

Try to wash them away with a drink or two,

but it never ends, there's

 

　

[CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

[Lisa Gates]

Gold and Les, this is a STUNNING song!

I would hate to change it but if I'm reading the rules right...

the verses are not supposed to have that type of rhyme scheme... If I'm wrong, I want to re-do ours!

Lisa

[goldylocks]

John, gave an example of the verse we could do, here it is.

 

 

Whereas, you could do ABCB

 

I can't quite see <- A/ doesn't rhyme

I'm not even sure it's wise <- B wise rhymes with lies

I can't even hear a sound <- C doesn't rhyme

'cos at times like these she flies <- B/rhymes with lies

 

Goldy  

 

 

I remember when you were young A/ doesn't rhyme
Freckles sprinkled across your face B face rhymes with lace
Twirling in your wedding dress C /doesn't rhyme
Petals falling from snow-white lace B/ rhymes with face

 

Isn't this above the same format as John's example?

 

 

Lisa, you made so nervous, for a minute I didn't think I was Goldylocks anymore!

By the way thanks for the nice compliment.

Edited September 22, 2013 by goldylocks

[Kel]

All good with Les & Goldy's rhyme scheme... they used ABCB. Fair play.

 

K

[Lisa Gates]

All good with Les & Goldy's rhyme scheme... they used ABCB. Fair play.

 

K

Then why didn't we keep some of our rhymes? it would've made it easier...hmmm I would've kept some better lines for sure. ah well, I like how it all came out for sure.

[Lisa Gates]

Heart attack!!!!!! dont do that Lisa!

 

Only kidding I made sure that all the verses were correct and the chorus and bridge are different as well

 

Hello is that 911/111/000/999 cancel that call please! lol

 

Les

SOOOORRRRYYY!

I made this challenge more challenging on myself I see.

cance that call! my bad!

[Lisa Gates]

Thats ok! THIS TIME! lol. ay Goldy!

 

Not sure of the rules of changing now you have posted?  but I did say the rules are there to be bent!

 

or may be I was thinking only if it was in our favor!  LOL

 

Les

well, I know John mentioned that the composer might need to tweek some things, soooo I guess it's not written in gold yet (no Goldy pun intended!)

[goldylocks]

 

No Second Chances by Kel, Rudi, and Lguzda

 

 [VERSE]

Monday morning squandered on

Regrets 'bout what I didn't do

The weekend went by in a flash

My good intentions dashed by…

 

  [CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

 

 [VERSE]

Friday night lasted till dawn

Saturday was 4 hours late

Midday sun crosses over my bed

Jackhammers in my head sing...

 

　[CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

　

　

 

 [bRIDGE]

Every weekend it's déjà vu

Each and every thought is about you

Try to wash them away with a drink or two,

but it never ends, there's

 

　

[CHORUS]

Too many second thoughts but no second chances

Too many questions and not enough answers

Too many backward glances

Too many nights I try to drink you outa my mind

But I'm still tryin'... (oh how I'm tryin...)

Too many second thoughts, no second chances.

Very catchy song Lisa, Rudi and Kel. A real Country song that sings on it's own!

Goldy  

[Vagdavercustis]

You've all done so well on the challenge!
I hope I've done this right.

Walk Away by Vagdavercustis & MPerry

 

Like a spring snow, passed over our heads, burying us deep

within whose depths, it was hard to see, without the knowing 

those feelings we had in mind precious but hard to keep

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

As we consider it all, making it better, fix it before it breaks

so that we can go forward and move beyond our love stalemate

how could we even think or walk away, taking from the extreme

 

From the waiting as we figure it out, fight or flee, this happenstance

be it a mistake, a misunderstanding, or else just given chance

it never crossed our minds, to forsake this love, and face the consequence 

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

We fought our way back, trying to survive, against the tide

like a sea storm swelling,  the ebb and flow, taking the ride

searching the moon and stars, struggling till we got it all right

 

Our wanting to figure it out, fight or flee, becoming this happenstance

be it a mistake, a misunderstanding, or else the consequence

it never crossed our minds, to forsake this love, finally given chance

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

So we will look deep into our eyes and find that place where

we will not sacrifice our love on this or any other night, meaning

all that much more, choice is clear no we, will not walk away, walk away

[goldylocks]

 

You've all done so well on the challenge!

I hope I've done this right.

Walk Away by Vagdavercustis & MPerry

 

Like a spring snow, passed over our heads, burying us deep

within whose depths, it was hard to see, without the knowing 

those feelings we had in mind precious but hard to keep

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

As we consider it all, making it better, fix it before it breaks

so that we can go forward and move beyond our love stalemate

how could we even think or walk away, taking from the extreme

 

From the waiting as we figure it out, fight or flee, this happenstance

be it a mistake, a misunderstanding, or else just given chance

it never crossed our minds, to forsake this love, and face the consequence 

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

We fought our way back, trying to survive, against the tide

like a sea storm swelling,  the ebb and flow, taking the ride

searching the moon and stars, struggling till we got it all right

 

Our wanting to figure it out, fight or flee, becoming this happenstance

be it a mistake, a misunderstanding, or else the consequence

it never crossed our minds, to forsake this love, finally given chance

 

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take one step back, to make a flame grow

So should I, would she, just walk away this time

Take on step further, making two hearts flow

 

So we will look deep into our eyes and find that place where

we will not sacrifice our love on this or any other night, meaning

all that much more, choice is clear no we, will not walk away, walk away

 

Very, very nice Vagda, somewhat poetic, beautiful!

 

Goldy      

[Rudi]

Well done Les & Goldy : Looking Through The Hourglass

Well done Vagda & Mike :Walk Away

 

Now, we are about to hawk these words around like double glazing salespeople.  

[john]

lol, yup!

[Rudi]

Lisa, Kel,

 

How about John Moxey?

 

I'm sure he would be delighted to assist us with a tune. His voice is pretty extremely good and he has the required production skills? .

 

Rudi

[Rudi]

s*#t ! did I just post that on open forum?