goldylocks

James, I took a look at the site. I think it's wonderful that you composed that song. It teaches so much love and forgiveness for those who are desperate and make mistakes. A very cute song! I read the story too, and it suits it perfectly. Nice song! Goldy

Les, can you believe these people are for real! What kind of sorcery, has messed up their minds! They got the women doing it too! Thanks for commenting. Look forward to coming back! Goldy

Much better, I like the imagery you set up in the lyrics, now I can visualize the song. Lady Lazrus back from Hell. Head in the oven. Now it sounds great! So much in an image like this one below. Goldy

Thanks Vagda, I wanted to write something entirely different. So I chose Snake worshiping as my dark lyrics. Goldy

I completely disagree with James. Sorry James, but I like the way it tells a different story in each verse, that connects with the chorus Love's a bridge. An example is Eleanor Rigby.written by Beatles were great ones for doing it. Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been, Lives in a dream Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door Who is it for? (connects with chorus) All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Father Mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear No one comes near. Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there What does he care? Very Nice lyric, and original! It has a meaningful message of helping one another

Hey James, you know how you are honest with me, Well I have to be honest with you, The lyric is too vague, you need to insert some information other than she liked to write, like fiction and poetry, describe her delusions when she looked a flower or some description of her depression, how suicide taunted her. Suicide held a gun to her head. Her distorted mind told her, she was better off dead. Something like that. Good start! Goldy

Vagda, so nice to see you back in the challenges! This is a really good lyric and I definitely can hear music to it. Welcome to Club 27. I like you story telling and your images. I also think it's Kurt Cobain. You really made me feel the pain this person was going through ! Goldy

James, thank for commenting, but I don't understand where the POV shifts, I wrote it as a group. Used we us and them, so where is it shifting? Appreciate you showing me. Goldy

John, I posted a video linked to my lyrics, as that okay? If not I'll take it off. I just wanted to show this is a real group of people. http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/35474-nothing-can-harm-us-they-cry/ Goldy

My dark lyric of horror! Watch these real groups of insane cults for yourself here!. http://youtu.be/raZh1EO9h6c Nothing Can Harm Us They Cry Verse: Hands lift up in worship Screaming to the sky Green slit eyes glow Shaking tails hypnotize Verse: Blazing orange fire Is held with finger tips Deadly reptiles sway Over dancing hips Chorus Nothing can harm us they cry Holding writhing rattle snakes high Waving them in everyone's sight Locked in a frenzy into the night Nothing can harm us they cry Believing the enemy's lie Venomous serpents will not bite If we're all walking in the light. Verses Foolish people will live Others fall down dead Poison drips from fangs Of angry, striking heads Verse:: Paramedics arrive Bit bodies lay in pain Forsaking Jesus Christ It starts all over again Chorus: Nothing can harm us they cry Holding writhing rattle snakes high Waving them in everyone's sight Locked in a frenzy into the night Nothing can harm us they cry Believing the enemy's lie Venomous serpents will not bite If we're all walking in the light. Goldy

You mean like Dave Koresh of Waco Texas? That kind of dark.? He certainly was a household name as well as Jim Jones. of the Jones town massacre. Goldy

Welcome to the group Mcnaughton, I think you and James did an incredible job of working the lyrics to get the song interesting and still maintaining the format. I found it to be a more challenging then both of you.You both did a nice job! Goldy

James you did a fantastic job taking a simple format and making it interesting, with your vivid imagery of action in each verse. I thought the song was cute too. Well done! Goldy

James, I used far, it sounds better. The list of people are unsaved friends who don't know Jesus. I also changed it to pray with me, because I want them to ride the train. Thank James for your comments, you always help out and I appreciate it. Goldy

This is one of the most difficult Challenges so far for me! I wrote it as simple as I could, following the simple format of the original lyrics Down to the River to Pray. I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving sorrow far behind Going up high to the King who reigns Susie won't you pray with me Pray with me, pray with me Jesus will set you free Come ride Heaven's train I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving sickness far behind Going up high to the King who reigns Michael won't you pray with me Pray with me, pray with me Jesus will set you free Come ride Heaven's train I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving poverty far behind Going up high to the King who reigns Marie won't you pray with me Pray with me, Pray with me Jesus will set you free Come ride Heaven's train I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving death far behind Going up high to the King who reigns Johnie won't you pray with me Pray with me, pray with me Jesus will set you free Come ride Heaven's train I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving greed far behind Going up high to the King who reigns Angie won't you pray with me Pray with me, pray with me Jesus will set you free Come ride Heaven's train I heard thunder roar and saw Heaven's train Knowing I'd soon feel no more pain Leaving earth far behind Going up high to the King who reigns

Thank you Hobo Sage, and Dnafe, for your help and suggestions. Your right, we used one microphone and recorded using audacity. The room is a small room and Mike was recording in front of the computer into audacity about 2 feet away. So the sound card has nothing to do with recorder? This is a brand new Gateway HDMI Vision PC. I thought it was a cheap sound card that was effecting the sound. We will try your suggestions Dnafe, and see if that improves the quality. Again thank you both for your help. Goldy .

How can you get rid of a muffled guitar sound? I've tried an expensive microphone, audacity, turning up the equalizers on the out put of the stereo. Nothing seems to work. Everyone that listens to the recordings thinks my husband is using the Wah- wah effect, when in fact he's playing an acoustic guitar. It's ruining what could be a half decent recording. Any suggestions would be so appreciated. Thanks Goldy Here is a sample of what it sounds like http://www.reverbnation.com/SandyMason/song/19350868-see-his-face

This is a demo, > This is revised again. Verse: I'm laying down this rebel life Finished with drugs, rock and roll strife Won't ride no more hills and valleys Dead- end streets or lonely alleys Verse: Liquor shots are making me drown Crack's high crushes reality down Paranoi locks my mind in a cell I streak like I'm a bat out of hell Chorus: I'm at the Crossing The checkpoint is here My soul is trembling Trembling in fear I'm at the Crossing Truth's raising it's head I'm changing my life Or it's Hell when I'm dead Verse: Hard Rock beats up my sanity Luxury feeds on my vanity The Money god knows me by name I'm tired of feel nothing but pain Bridge: I hear there's a Heavenly place That leads to eternal splendor Peace and love can be found Where angels voices resound Chorus: I'm at the Crossing The checkpoint is here My soul is trembling Trembling in fear I'm at the Crossing Truth's raising it's head I'm changing my life Or It's Hell when I'm dead repeat2x Goldy

Hey James, I missed you. I really like your song, but I don't think it relates well to the Challenge of a retired Heavy Metal singer. But I might be wrong, it's all in the i of the beholder. That been said, it's well written! Maybe you could write I've come to the crossing where it all began. Putting your character in the song. Just a thought, and welcome back! Goldy

Thanks for having a look at my song, and your encouraging comments. I changed it to Or Hell will, I think I'll was my brain going faster than my fingers typing. I hope you saw a picture of my character as a used up famous Hard Rocker, coming to the crossing of his life looking for spiritual solace. Looking forward to reading your lyric. Goldy .

Kel, I have to agree with Asaphstable, you've written many songs, but I think this is one of your best. I think this one definitely will be Bobby Rubber Pants's pick of The Crossing. Unless another contender tries to steal your thunder.They'd have to climb Mount Olympus and bribe Zeus! Lol! IT'S THAT GOOD!! Reads like a true blues ballad! I hear a harmonica playing when I read the lyrics. Goldy

Thanks Kel, I'm sorry I don't understand stressed syllables, it was hard enough for me to write the lyrics with matching line syllables. I changed it to what rhyme you suggested. I changed it a lot since the first draft. Again thanks for taking the time to look at it. I'm on the way out the door. When I come back I will comment on your lyric. What I read of it is really good! Goldy

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/34555-challlenge-entry-the-crossing/ The Crossing Verse: I'm laying down this rebel life Finished with drugs, rock and roll strife Won't ride no more hills and valleys Dead- end streets or lonely alley Verse: Liquor shots are making me drown Crack's high kicks reality down Paranoi locks my mind in a cell I streak like I'm a bat out of hell Chorus: I'm at the Crossing The checkpoint is here My soul is trembling Trembling in fear I'm at the Crossing Truth's raising it's head I'm changing my life Or it's Hell when I'm dead Verse: Hard Rock beats up my sanity Luxury feeds on my vanity The Money god knows me by name I'm tired of feel nothing but pain Bridge: I hear there's a Heavenly place That leads to eternal splendor Peace and love can be found Where angelic music resounds Chorus: I'm at the Crossing The checkpoint is here My soul is trembling Trembling in fear I'm at the Crossing Truth's raising it's head I'm changing my life Or It's Hell when I'm dead Goldy

Vagda, you're right, I changed it to furious. I thought hollow would represent eyes that are petrified and have lost all hope. But hollow eyes don't shoot out anger. Thanks for commenting,and now I understand were you are coming from on your lyric. It makes sense why you are inspired to write about metal heads. You also did a great job, you have a way with using words most writers wish they had! Goldy :luxhello:

Now, that I read it again, I would say what's going on and how it inspires you, both of them. So that's why I picked your first lyric over the second one, because I couldn't relate the second one to whats going on. It still is an awesome lyric.I just couldn't relate heavy metal and head banging music to the image.To me it looked like someone who is a criminal, involved in starting a fire and a riot. People sign the horns at sports events, politics, etc. So it isn't exclusively used for heavy metal music...Vagda, it's only my opinion, I'm sharing with you. Someone else will see it entirely different. They are BOTH still creative and inspired lyrics! Goldy