goldylocks

Thank you Rudi, you made my husband's day, with such a lovely compliment. I can see why you listen to Reverend Davis, he's very authentic in gospel singing and playing his guitar. I can see why he's a favorite of yours. By the way I liked your voice, it's mellow and smooth, very nice, from what I could hear. Goldy

Rudi, I love your musical arrangement! I wish I could hear your lyrics more clearly. The music drowns it out! I know nothing about arranging music, but I know what I like, and I like your song! it's energetic and I love the rhythm and Spanish flair! Ole' Goldy

James, I really appreciate you taking your time to show me the chords and music. I really love the way you've arranged it, but I also like Mike's arrangement, and so I'm going stick with his version, even though your sound is much better and your guitar playing is much better.. He worked on it for hours, so I don't want to make him feel it wasn't good enough. It already has 3 heart likes on Sound Cloud, so I'm happy with it. The bottom line is I don't want to hurt his feelings. You understand, being married.Lol Again, thank you soooooooo--- much and keep yours as a Christian co-write with me. I really appreciate it!!!! Sandy

James, you answered my suggestions with your own, I like your song anyway. I got my husband to record mine with just a guitar, we don't have any recording equipment, just audacity, and at least it was an effort. Tell me what you think? I'd appreciate it, He was trying to a little bit of an Elvis style.LOL. Goldy

Your not exactly chopped liver yourself! Your writing is amazing, considering English isn't even your language. You do one heck of good job! Creative story teller~And thanks for the lovely compliment! Goldy

James, I made a few suggestions about the lyrics below. Other than that it is really well laid out and sounds great! Just a tiny nit reading it the second time. What is the end for eating the cyanide laden melon? I don't get that. Title: Gypsy Woman Listen to the mp3 here http://soundclick.co...cfm?id=12574213 Gypsy woman tells me Find food feed the family /maybe feed your family/ sounds better to me So I bring a melon back From Farmer Johnson’s patch Farmer Johnson sees me Steal that watermelon But he only sees my back I run too fast to catch/awkward/cause I'm gone like a flash/or in a flash Chorus Gypsy woman I know you can read the signs You can read the signs Gypsy woman Farmer Johnson’s clever Posts a warning sign Gypsy woman reads it Shakes her head and sighs Looters, thieves, and felons See the warning sign One of these watermelons Is laced with cyanide chorus Gypsy woman tells me One sign just won’t do Post this by the old one "NOW THERE ARE TWO!" To remind a scoundrel like you/suggestion Goldy

Thanks Rudi, I also used one of your suggestions, but I used clouds in the third line, that's why I used dark. I appreciate your comments and suggestions. Goldy

Thank you James, I had bearing, and changed it over and over again, but I love all your suggestions, so thank you for them. It always helps when you have an objective opinion. Goldy

Vagda, this is a good start of your story, but I agree with Rudi, it doesn't go anywhere. I made a few suggestions to help .Keep or sweep Jumped on a train Destination unknown I think it was the rain That made my make-up flow Down of my face/ down off/ or from Stains on my dress/And stained my dress Verse 2: What a first impress/impression With your headphones on Cellphone in hand How could I know That talking to you Would bring such a big mess/ awkward/You'd leave me stressed/or bring me stress Chorus: My personal demon Behind a golden mask/don't know if golden fits, maybe shallow Should have seen the signs Run when I had the chance My heart deceived/my heart was deceived Made an angel out of you I made an angel/ sounds better I truelly believed We had something true Verse 3: Midnight kisses, morning fights Hiding up the bruises/Hiding all the bruises Couldn't count the lies Make up, brake up/break up It was all part of the game Hoping I could wake up But everything stayed the same Chorus: My personal demon Behind a golden mask Should have seen the signs Run when I had the chance My heart deceived Made an angel out of you I truelly believed We had something true Bridge:/ this needs work, it doesn't connect very well What's a heart worth Loved but empty/Filled with empty illusions Illusions made for the dreamers/Of love for dreamers Goldy

Kel, I like this, it reads like a Country song, I made a few suggestions below, it's a good start but it needs some tightening up.. Honest Man Here on this mountain I can taste the sweet air, But all this freedom/ maybe/ But this darn freedom/a little Country exasperation. Means nothing to me, without you here, To share it with, It's no way to live... [Chorus] I got a tank full of gas And time on my side A whole lot of nothing that I'd rather do Than ride all night Just to hold you tight And kiss you in the golden rays of dawn's first light I got my heart in your hands / don't get this line/ or I got your heart in my hands/or you have my heart And Baby it's got plans, you see/ awkward/ suggestion/ Baby I've or it's got pans for you and me To put a ring on your finger/ t/ awkward/ suggestion/ I'll put a ring on your finger And make an honest man, out of me Darlin' I said I Couldn't walk down the aisle But being free is More than I can bear, without your smile To share it with/, It's no way to live... [Chorus] I got a tank full of gas And time on my side A whole lot of nothing that I'd rather do Than ride all night Just to hold you tight And kiss you in the golden rays of dawn's first light I got my heart in your hands And Baby it's got plans you see To put a ring on your finger And make an honest man, out of me 　 Goldy

See His face https://soundcloud.com/sandy-mason-1/see-his-face Chorus1 See His face See His face Pleading to heaven Bearing our disgrace Writhing in pain Carrying the blame See His face See His face guitar Thorns pierce His head all around Soldiers mock Him from the ground Sorrow streams from His eyes Heaven's angel's bow and cry Seeing Him------------crucified See----------- His Face guitar Verse Dark hides the sun in the sky God's Son slowly dies Black clouds of thunder roar He rises up through Satan's door Crushing death, forever more Guitar Chorus:2 See His face See His face Light of the earth Shining from the throne Takes His Crown Reigns looking down See His face See His face Goldy

Name of artist: Chris Tomlin Style / genres the artist plays: He writes and sings Christian Contemporary music. He plays the guitar, piano, but most of his songs are band back up. Links leading to his songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvXweftb7UU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWpvknKuYrg&list=PL0wGPW9kDFMYoZCZvBZQ8E0AjJKMOvXaQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-WOneEXr00 A paragraph description of their typical song topics All of his lyrics are about God. God's sacrifice, His majesty, greatness, power and love..The music is alive, inspirational and speaks to you. A paragraph description of the typical language used (do they use slang? if so, can you describe it?) No slang, worship adoration and praise! A paragraph on typical song forms they use. Cite their big hits that use these song forms. Verse/verse/ chorus/Verse/Verse/Verse/Chorus "How Great is Our God" Verse/Bridge/Chorus1/Verse/Bridge/Chorus2 "God of this City Verse/Verse/Chorus/Verse/Bridge/Chorus "You are My King" Tomlin, uses so many different song forms in his songs, he never writes the same way. Include any other analysis information you consider helps you with understanding the needs of your chosen artist. Tomlin has been featured at music festivals and conferences. On June 14, 2007, his song "Indescribable" was used as the official wake-up call for mission specialist Patrick Forester on Space Shuttle mission ST-117. He started off as a worship leader in the mid 1990's at Dawson McCallister Youth Conferences, as well as other churches. All his songs are mostly, solo worship songs. Tomlin is still touring the country with his latest studio album, "Burning Lights." from last January, it topped the Billboard 200 charts. But unlike those who've enjoyed performances by Johnny Cash and host of others that played the Baltimore hall, after these fans stream out the doors they have the opportunity to sing Tomlin's songs again. The secret to Tomlin's success, is not the stage, lights or the band, it's not about him. The point is to get you singing his songs in church. Every Sunday between 60,000 and 120,00 churches are singing Tomlin's songs. Approximately 20 to 30 million in the United States are singing Chris Tomlin's songs in church.Tomlin had the most sung songs reported in 1 of top 25. Details of their publisher, manager and label with contact details for each Manager, Shelly Giglio and Mike McCloskey, at: Six Steps Records PO. Box 5 Roswell, GA 30077 678-366-9192 infor@sixstepsrecords.com Details of their last 3 song releases, last album release, highest chart position in the main chart they would have competed in, and their last tour. Feel free to include any financial info you find. Singles The last 3 singles. "Gods Great Dance Floor # 1 Bill Board North America (2013) "Whom Shall I fear"(God of Angel Armies) #1 Bill Board North America (2012) "Amazing Grace"(My Chains Are Gone) #2 Bill Board North America (2013) Albums Burning Lights # 1 Bill Board North America (2013) And If Our God Is For Us # 1 Bill Board North America ( Gold) (2010) Glory In the Highest # 2 Bill Board North America (Gold) (2009) He won special special album of the year for " Let the Future Begin" along with 21 other Dove Awards for being Top Christian Artist, Top Christian Song of the Year. Goldy

Donna, it so confusing, which rewrite is which, but from what I saw to now, this is has turned out great! Goldy

Thanks James! Goldy

Thank you Rudi, I appreciate your comment! Goldy

Thank you Donna, I think I fixed it. Every Bite in Vain V. Dressed in a pitch black suit With a white shirt for attire I scan the room anxiously Licking my lips with desire V My fingers tap eagerly When I gaze up at the door Waiting for my dinner To come out on the floor V Like magic it appears With luscious appeal Tantalizing my palate I bite down with zeal Chorus Oh, we eat rare meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane With you here dear I have no restraint Bridge: Angel, your dark eyes glow As the blood starts to flow With such beauty divine You sip your raw wine V Wiping our red mouths We rise to leave this place But we'll be back again For another oozing taste Chorus Oh, we eat rare meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane With you here dear I have no restraint Goldy

John, I added a bridge of affection, but I couldn't find where to put it in a 4 verse song. I looked online and on the forum, but I just couldn't find it, So I added it after the first chorus. Every Bite in Vain V. Dressed in a pitch black suit With a white shirt for attire I scan the room anxiously Licking my lips with desire V My fingers tap eagerly, While I gaze up at the door Waiting for my dinner To come out on the floor V Like magic it appears With luscious appeal Tantalizing my palate I bite down with zeal Chorus Oh, we eat raw meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane With you here dear I have no restrain Bridge: Angel, your dark eyes glow As the blood starts to flow With such beauty divine You sip your raw wine V Wiping our red mouths We rise to leave this place But we'll be back again For another oozing taste Chorus Oh, we eat raw meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane With you here dear I have no restrain Goldy

Took it out, Les. Do you think it's ambiguous? Goldy

Trying one more, before this challenge is over. Well John, is this hit or miss? Written for fun. Every Bite in Vain V. Dressed in pitch black With a white shirt for attire My eyes scan the room Licking my lips with desire V My fingers tap eagerly Gazing at the door Waiting for my dinner To come out on the floor V Like magic it appears With luscious appeal Tantalizing my palate I bite down with zeal Chorus Oh, we eat rare meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane You by my side dear I won't be restrained V. Wiping off my red mouth I rise to leave this place But I'll be back again For another oozing taste Bridge: Angel, your dark eyes glow As the blood starts to flow With such beauty divine You drink your raw wine Chorus Oh, we eat rare meat It's such a treat Ah, blood pouring down Dripping, dripping all around Every bite in vain Drives me insane You by my side dear I won't be restrained Goldy

James, for the verse Feed me Wet satin on skin/reverse the words/ wet skin on satin/ now I think it makes sense Arched in a quiver/Skin can be arched but wet satin arched, didn't make sense. just a suggestion ‘Til I give in Goldy

I really like the changes you made Donna, it's musical on it's own as you read it. A very sassy Country song! Goldy

James, I was saying that's my last rewrite. Finished, the end in different languages. Goldy

Thank you Donna, for the nice compliment. I hope it came across ambiguous, as if it's a man or a woman singing this. Goldy

I thought I wrote the last revision Les, but you gave me some more ideas, so here's another gamut run. Thank you. I'm done now, Finito terminar, Das End. Steal My Soul Your words speak With hungry desire Luring me with lies I want to run Find a place to hide You tug at my will Break me right down Touch me deep inside Smile and walk away Then brush me aside Chorus: You steal my soul You won't let me go Like a thief in the night You plunder my mind You won't let me go You steal my soul V: When you kiss me I surrender to you Feelings start to rise I'm caught off guard You take by surprise Chorus: You steal my soul You won't let me go Like a thief in the night You plunder my mind You won't let me go You steal my soul Verse Your constant haunting A vice I can't escape I 'm caught in a snare Watched with obsession While you prey on my fear Goldy

Now Rud, this is hot! Don't be offended, but hear this is a very heavy metal rock song. The words cut right through with such force! Sharp and to the point with raw emotion! Hot! Hot! Hot! In my opinion, again it's only my opinion, but I wouldn't change one word! Goldy